Still alive

I just read an absolutely smashing piece on creating value with your music called “Why Your Music Is Worthless“. With a title like that, you can probably see how it really speaks to me. The dude writes like I wish I did. If you want to get on my good side, tell me that the article reminds you of something I wrote.

Speaking of writing articles, you’ve probably noticed I’ve written fuck-all this year. Even writing this little piece is like pulling teeth. This is for no reason in particular. I seem to have lost the need to turn everything in my life into a narrative, which reduces the urge to lay every thought of mine down into print. If there was any particular reason for this, it probably came down to a few events.

A niece of mine died around this time last year. For the first time ever, I found myself dropping everything and travelling to be with my family and having to think of other people. This is pretty unusual for me. Serious amounts of shit needs to be done when someone passes away, and if the death happens to be traumatic then the job only really starts once the funeral is over. This death was, unfortunately, rather traumatic. And in the midst of all that, whenever I started thinking about writing articles or music, it all just seemed rather indulgent. People close to me were dealing with some heavy stuff, and I was going to do what? Write another article about pushing girls from moving buses, or record a song about getting drunk? Fuck off.

Earlier in the year, I stopped writing for Heavy magazine. Until then it felt like writing actual articles for actual magazines was the logical progression for the effort I was putting in blogging. Heavy was the third publication I’ve written for and I was thinking, heck, journalism could even become a hobby! When that fell apart (and how that happened will be an upcoming article) I just could not be bothered writing anymore.

Then there was the Antichrist Imperium. Let me explain. For the last however many years with the Senseless, I’ve struggled with releasing albums, getting exposure, and trying to get any attention whatsoever from the music industry. I sent out endless submissions to record labels, and barely received a reply. I imagine a lot of that just comes down to the fact that I look like a happy well-fed accountant, and unlike someone like Cloudkicker my job is not interesting enough to create a ‘break through’ narrative. People buy the trappings of personality, whether that is clothes, food, music, or whatever. Want the audience your amazing tunes don’t seem to generate on their own? Shave off half your hair, then get trepanated. Talk about how you write music by ramming your finger in the hole and wiggling it.

I digress. I do my Senseless stuff for a small appreciative band of awesome people and by gum, it will stay that way. Then at the start of this year, I ended up signed to a record label. Not for the Senseless though – for the Antichrist Imperium. When I was in London last year, I caught up with them and did an evening’s vocal recording. This went onto their album which was picked up by Apocalyptic Witchcraft, the new label from the team at Candlelight. Suddenly, boom! Signed. And it seemed that I had casually fallen in with London’s metal ‘It Boys’: Sam Loynes and David Gray. I’d include Matt Wilcock in that, but Australia has claimed him back. After hundreds of hours of banging away at the Senseless, I was suddenly on an album signed to a label, getting great reviews from a rapturous metal media – and I had done about five hours of effort.

It has been a confusing year.

The new Senseless album has been mixed for the last two months. It may still take another two weeks, two months, a year. Who knows? It’s coming. It’ll be here when it’s ready. You can’t rush good pizza. Articles on this blog? There will be more of them, and soon.


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